Time and Relative Dimension in Space

Time flies, doesn't it?
I looked at the last time I posted on here, apparently it was only 2 weeks ago. That isn't very long (obviously), but it feels like a lifetime. And in that lifetime I feel like I have done nothing of note. Of course I have, but that is how my brain works. If I'm not doing anything interesting at the exact second of asking, I will instantly forget that I've done something interesting or relevant. Just to redeem myself a little, my memory is bad at other times too. My friends are forever telling me things, and then 2 days later when I ask what they did, they look at me like I've suddenly grown scales on my face and in a very exasperated voice, tell me they went to the zoo, and that they told me three days ago. Well, one friend in particular. It's not because I wasn't listening at the time, I genuinely forget that people tell me these things. Names, birthdays, whether or not you're an only child. Nothing is safe. Erm... maybe that doesn't really redeem myself.
So what have you been doing with yourself?? I hear you cry in mock outrage and sarcastic wonder. Well...
- I've got a new job, somewhere I can't mention. (not because it's glamourous, just because they told me I can't mention it).
- I've had a photoshoot with a lovely local model, the pictures are amazing and I'll post them on my facebook page just as soon as I get my Photoshop sorted out, or I get hold of someone else's computer for a few hours.
- I havn't yet managed to fix Photoshop. There is still no explanation as too why it suddenly decides to freeze 10 seconds after opening. Thinking about it, I don't think I've mentioned this before. It's a new thing. Any hints would be welcome. Yes, I've tried reinstalling it. And lowering the performance usage.
Anywho... I'm off to the cinema, so Hoobledoodledo! I'll see ya later.
x

P.S. I heartily recommend Lawless. Unless you don't like blood. or Shia LeBeouf.

Disaster Movie

When did preordering become a useless thing?
Seriously.
In the olden days when you preordered something from Amazon or Play or any other site, it would be dispated about 3 days before the release date, so that it would turn up on that day. When I preordered the last 4 Harry Potter books, they turned up on the Saturday before they were due to be released!
I preordered The Hunger Games DVD in June, got all excited over the weekend, "Ooo Hunger Games is out on Monday! I can watch it, and all the Extras!!!" (because I'm a geek) "Wooo! I can't wait!" I got home from work: No parcels. Checked my emails: Dispatch notice dated 6AM THIS MORNING!
Thank you, Amazon.
You used to be cool man.

Walking Up A Mountain

I haven't posted anything recently because I haven't done anything worthy of informing the interwebs about. Or if I have, I have been unable to. 

Erm... What have I done... I drew some birds on the wall in my bedroom, moved my furniture around, bought some red jeans... OMG. These are the bestest, coolest, most comfiest jeans ever!! (not that you needed to know any of that, just thought I'd fill you in). 

What does one buy that girl who has everything? 

My friends birthday is coming up, I asked her what she wants and she said "nothing. anything." That is not helpful. Normally I would then listen to what she says very carefully for a few weeks to get some ideas, but no. This year, everything she wants she either buys there and then, because she has more money than she is used to, or her boyfriend buys it her. Which is lovely, but leaves me with no options. Help.

So, I think I'm down to as random as I can get. After all, she did buy me a "Toy Story, Create a Story" sticker box/book thing for Christmas. These are my options:

Ben 10.

Barbie.

Disney Princess. 

Disney (non princess).

My Little Pony (for the total abstractness. Neither of us is particularily into MLP. Or what ever the proper abrievation of that is, there is something about "brony" isn't there?)

Smellies. 

Scooby Doo. 

I can't think of anything else. Looks like it might be childish. I wonder what the Lego store has this year...

I looked. Much as I would like to get this for her...: 

It's not in stock. =[. 

Oooo! How about a proper My Little Pony?! With Brushable tail and everything!! Heh. I'll keep you posted, I should go, my mother is having a meltdown about the washing or something, I need to hide. 

P.S This really IS a ramble today. Sorry. 

Directioners...

People should not ask me for directions. This is your fair warning.

I give THE worst directions in history. Even though I know where and what I mean, I can't articulate it and I don't know left from right, well I do, but I always say one and mean the other one, so I end up producing a jumble of words that if you put them in the right order might, vaguely, get you where you're heading, but not quite. For example:
"Excuse me? Do you know the way to M&S?"
"OH! Erm.... yeah. Go down there, turn left. NO! Right, sorry. Walk towards the big building with windows, I can't remember what it's called but you'll know what I mean. Then turn right and follow the road. It's opposite a pub, with a big building with wings on the right..."
"Thanks...?"
"No problem. OH! Sorry! I meant turn left not right."
"Er... Which right?"
"The first one."
"Down the road turn Left?"
"Yes. No!!"...
And so on until I succeed in confusing both the lost person and myself. I think I basically confuse people so much they just walk in the general direction I pointed and hope.
So basically, to the nice old lady who asked me for directions earlier: I apologise. And also to anyone else who has ever asked me to tell them where something is.

SORRY!! o_O

Bournemouth

Yo dudes, you probably didn't notice but... I've been away. Gone. Not here.
Yup. I went to Bournemouth for the week and it was good. The sun did not shine, there was a lot of wind. It was very British tbh, but I enjoyed it.
I have drunk a lot of tea, eaten a lot of chips and walked a lot of miles. =]
Basically I'm telling you this because it links into the next bit...
You know a hotel is cheap when the carpet it 70's and threadbare, the wardrobe is hanging off its hinges and there is an avacado green bathroom suite, the sink of which is in the bedroom part of the room, not the bathroom part. Dated is not the word. It was like walking into a time machine.
Another thing I wanted to say was... It's a tradition in my house that whenever we go to the beach, we have to have Fish and Chips on the pier. Or near the pier anyway. So when I got down there, my friend and I decided to have lunch... £12 for a plate of Fish and Chips!?! That is daylight robbery. You can get them in any pub for half of that, why should being by the beach make it more expensive? If anything they should be cheaper, being "fresh" and all. I say fresh, it was probably shipped in from Spain or somewhere. Anyway, after careful shopping around it turns out this is pretty standard fare for fish and chips in Bournemouth. What a rip off. Take away wasn't much cheaper. And they were charging to get on the pier! Only 60p but the principle is the same.
This is a rambling sham of a blog. I appologise, I'm tired and sleepy.

Byeeee.... x

SN. I don't remember writing this, I must have been totally shattered.

Twihards.

Warning: Actual relevant topic approaching...


I lied.
She of many faces and vocal tones (Kristen Stewart) has publicly admitted to cheating on a certain teen heart throb who looks like a foot. OK. We know this is bad, and I'm not gonna do my usual rant about celebrity gossip, what I want to say is this...
Apparently Twilight fans don't care that she cheated on him?? I thought these people were all desperately in love with him and want him to be happy etc etc...? Apparently there is a lot of love for Miss Stewart.
Ah. I wrote that after reading the comments on an article, which all said "it happens, he should get over it". I just found some better ones. This is more like what I was expecting. "#MyLifeIsALie" Haha! why is it? did you base your life expectations on a film or their actual relationship? If it's the film, then grow up, if it's the relationship, how? You don't know them, so how can you know what their relationship is like? People are so funny, sometimes. And sometimes my faith in humanity dies a little bit more. I was gonna find some more funny tweets, but twitter if now full of "Kristen smiled" jokes and people just retweeting the news. There are a few non believers though... they are amusing.
This whole thing has made me think about other celeb pairings that everyone  currently bums. Specifically, Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber. Imagine if Selena cheated on Justin... I think the internet would implode from all the Beliebers having mental breakdowns. Then the real damage would start. With no internet to publicly threaten a Disney stars life, people would take to the streets and start rioting. There would be 14 year old girls waving petrol bombs covered in glitter outside Downing street, cycle-by deaths, LOITERING! Then the government would have to step in and take action, bring in the army, the country would get separated into 13 states, two kids from each one would have to brutally fight to the death every year while millions of people are forced to watch!!!
OK, that's the Hunger Games. I might have gotten a bit carried away there, but you get my point. Yes it happened, good for him for leaving her, get over it. The only people who need to keep going on about it are those who it actually involves. Basically, no it didn't ruin your life, just your perception of two people. Two people you have never met. I may have lied about the ranting too...


Pic courtesy of Potter Puppet Pals.

Fail.

Hello my virtual friends! How are we all doing? Good? Good, now back to me.
Ya'no in The IT Crowd when Jen wants to become the entertainments manager and everyone says "It's not for you Jen" at her? Well, I kind of wish someone had done that for me.
Actually I don't, if people had said that I wouldn't have tried and then I wouldn't know for sure that it wasn't right. Anyway basically, by mutual agreement, I no longer have a job. The manager realised I completely lack the confidence to do the job, asked me outright and I, being far to honest, told him the truth. I'm not going to say this is a good thing, because obviously it isn't, but it does mean that I can cross telesaleswoman off my career goal list, and I can say that at least I tried. I do believe that if you fail, that's fine so long as you tried. If you fail and didn't try, you have no right to be upset. If I had just turned the job down when I had reservations about doing it, A) I would have regretted it, and B) I would never have discovered for sure, what I thought I already knew. (yeah, I totally got Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat in my head then too. "I close my eyes, draw back the curtain, to see for certain, what I thought I knew.")
Basically I'm back to square one, but with slightly more life experience and self awareness than a week ago.
Just thought I'd fill you in, till next time then...
xx